“Why are women so flakey?” I usually get requested this by males who’ve had one too many dates canceling on the final minute. Why are these girls so disrespectful of our time? What the heck is their downside?
Let me kick off my reply with a little bit of sage knowledge: Flakey girls are solely irritating in the event you’re comparatively inexperienced within the dating sport or in the event you’re nonetheless working by means of your insecurity points.
Here’s a spoiler alert: Once you’ve met sufficient girls and went on sufficient dates, getting flaked on is definitely no massive deal. It tends to be an issue for males who’re learners and intermediates within the dating sport.
That mentioned, certain. Let’s reply to all the large “flake-related” questions in this article. Hopefully, with the guidelines I’ll share with you as we speak, you’ll shave a couple of years off your studying curve and revel in extra dates with extra girls beginning as we speak.
So, let’s begin with the unique query:
Why Are Women So Flakey?
Off of my private experiences and the experiences of males I’ve talked to, girls flake on dates for 4 main causes. They are:
#1: Legitimate causes for flaking
Sometimes her telephone dies proper earlier than the date. Or typically she will get misplaced heading to the venue. Or she runs into some heavy site visitors and may make it.
You get the concept, proper? These are professional causes to overlook an appointment, and it’s no motive to get mad or really feel offended.
Surprisingly, that is the most typical motive of all. In the overwhelming majority of instances a girl flakes on a date with you, it’s not private. So it’s finest to not deal with it as such.
#2: She misplaced the temper
This often occurs when the date you set together with her is over per week away. She might need been excited to fulfill up if you scheduled the date, however, issues occurred over the following a number of days that made her lose pleasure.
And when the day of the date lastly got here, she felt drained and determined, “I’d much rather stay home today.”
It occurs. That’s why it’s finest to schedule dates just a few days off.
#3: She desires you to chase her
This can be referred to as “playing hard to get.” She desires you to textual content her and plead for a reschedule. She desires you to chase her, as a result of the extra you do, the extra energy she has over you. This is an extremely frequent motive why girls are so flakey. She doesn’t truly wish to cancel your date. In reality, she could be trying ahead to it. But she simply desires to check you to see in the event you’ll chase her.
Again, it’s not private: It’s some of the pure feminine modi operandi within the dating sport. Yet it’s completely as much as you whether or not or to not play her sport.
#4: She would not wish to lose you as a buddy
Maybe she sees you as a buddy, or maybe she likes the eye you give her. She’s now afraid she may lose that if she goes on a date with you. And so she decides to not go. And in case you’re questioning, sure, which means you’re within the friendzone.
These are the 4 main causes, and sure: The first one is the most typical one. When a girl flakes on you, it’s not often a rejection of you, and it’s virtually by no means a deliberate act of disrespect.
Instead of getting mad, getting even, or getting offended, right here’s how one can take advantage of a foul state of affairs:
How to Deal with Flakes
So, let’s say you scheduled a date with a girl, however, she flakes at the final minute. What do you have to do? Here’s what I recommend:
Don’t take it personally
No good motive to get upset or butthurt proper now. If you get mad at her for flaking, that solely makes her assume: “Yup, I was right to flake on this loser,” and by no means see you once more.
Instead, you’ll need the choice to reschedule to the time be on the desk. I’ll present you the way to do that later in this article.
For now, right here’s a great way to forestall getting upset over a canceled date: Have backup plans. As you schedule every date, ask yourself: “What can I do in case the date doesn’t push through?” Perhaps there are retailers within the space you wish to take a look at? Or mates who dwell close by you wish to meet up with?
With backup plans, flakes aren’t such an enormous deal.
Give her a manner out
Do you wish to improve your probability of rescheduling the date together with her? Then give her a manner out. You can textual content her one thing like: “Hey Anna, I waited for a half-hour at the café. I tried texting but your phone must have died. Anyway, I’m off to see a friend, talk to you later.”
Here, the “way out” you’re giving her is “her phone must have died.” When she receives a textual content like this, she’ll really feel you’re not mad or upset, and she or he’s extra more likely to re-interact and reschedule.
Meanwhile, in the event you didn’t have textual content, she’d really feel awkward and should not even textual content again. She may even minimize all communications with you simply to save lots of faces.
Don’t pressure her to elucidate
One of the largest errors you may make when she flakes are that this: demanding evidence. It has the identical impact of getting upset: you kill all probabilities of rescheduling the date. The web results of demanding evidence are a waste of much more time and power.
Remember: In most circumstances, she’ll have a professional motive for flaking. So as an alternative to forcing her to elucidate or apologize:
- Have a backup plan
- Give her a manner out
- Always be open to rescheduling the date.
Don’t play video games together with her
After a lady flakes on you, you could be tempted to play thoughts video games together with her. On occasion, you may really feel the urge to troll her over the textual content or play laborious to get together with her.
Seriously, although? Let’s hold it easy, we could?
Act like a grown man and hold issues open for a reschedule. If it’s not on the desk, then merely thank her for her time and transfer on to the following lady in your record. No one should be a drama queen over one failed date, proper?
Reschedule, however not instantly
Speaking of rescheduling: It’s finest to not do it instantly. She could be unable to select a date and time in the meanwhile. For occasion, she may nonetheless be caught in site visitors, or her telephone could be appearing up, and many others.
Only reschedule on the spot if she insists on doing so. Otherwise, wait ‘til later in the day, when you’ve each settled down and may have a fast uninterrupted chat over textual content.
That’s it. Easy, proper? Everything’s a lot easier if you don’t take the flake personally.
Now, after all, prevention is the time higher than treatment. So let’s wrap up this little information on flakey girls with some good prevention ideas.
How to Prevent Flaking within the Future
Is it truly doable to forestall girls from flaking? The reply is “Yes,” and that’s through the use of the next ideas:
(*4*)Tip #1: Make the data as easy and handy as doable
The easier the data is, the higher. Perhaps you may set as much as meet over ice cream, then watch a film, then take a look at the brand new artwork pop-up or have dinner at the new farmer’s market close by. Easy peasy.
Avoid tough or difficult date concepts (corresponding to mountaineering or skydiving so as to add a way of the journey that ladies discover enticing), as she’ll be more likely to assume: “I really don’t have the energy to do that today,” and find yourself flaking.
Likewise, hold the date handy for each of you. Pick a date and time that works for her, in addition to areas that aren’t troubling for her to achieve.
Tip #2: Give her no less than two choices
Speaking of comfort, it’s a good suggestion to present her with multiple possibilities. You can ask her: “Does Thursday or Friday night work better for you?”
She’ll find yourself choosing the extra handy date or let you know what works for her. Regardless, she’ll admire the sentiment and, to point out her gratitude, will decide to see you then.
Tip #3: Remind her shortly earlier than the date
Lastly, remind her 1-3 hours earlier than the date. You can ship her easy textual content saying, “Hey Cait, I’ll head to the museum in an hour. See you in a while.” Keep it easy.
That manner, if she must cancel the date, she’ll let you know instantly as an alternative at the final minute. You’ll save a while, cash, and stress.
Also, in case she’s questioning if the date remains to be a go, your textual content will give her the affirmation she wants. She’ll then, fortunately, exit to fulfill you, hopefully for a date she received quickly overlooked.
And there you’ve got it. Use these three ideas collectively—in addition to all the opposite ideas in this article—and hold flaking to a minimum. I hope it helps you construct a greater, extra satisfying dating life any further.