“Why does my ex-girlfriend keep contacting me?” If you’re asking yourself this query properly now, then your solutions are in this article. And spoiler alert: The true the explanation why your ex contacts you would possibly shock you.
The apparent follow-up query is: “What should I do when she keeps contacting me?” This article may also reply that, beginning by shifting the query again to you for a second.
Here’s what I’d wish to learn about you:
How Do You Feel About It?
Are you irritated by your ex-girlfriend staying in contact with you, and wished she’d cease as a result of it is retaining you from getting over a breakup? Or do you miss her too, and you’re questioning in case you ought to give your relationship a second likelihood?
Keep your reply in thought as you learn by way of this text. You’ll get a lot of perception that you just weren’t conscious of, together with the likelihood that you just could be strolling right into a entice.
Take what you’ll be taught, create a plan of motion, and put it to work.
Your ex-girlfriend can contact you out of the blue for any of the 5 following causes:
She’s making an attempt to get again at you
First, she could be making an attempt to actual some revenge on you. Why? Obviously, she’s indignant and bitter over the breakup (or the connection you had). And now she needs to get again at you by taking part in together with your emotions.
Have her texts been indignant, accusatory, or passive-aggressive? Then this could be the case.
She’s testing you
Another attainable cause your ex is contacting you is this: She’s testing you. She’s making an attempt to see the way you’re doing without her, secretly hoping you’re even just a bit worse off.
This is regular human conduct, in the best way. No one needs to suppose they’ve been a drag on one other particular person’s life, and this goes double for ladies. So when your ex-girlfriend sees you doing simply nice without her—maybe doing even higher—she panics.
So she snoops around your life even after the breakup, in search of validation that the “bad one” was you, not her.
(*5*)The easiest cause why your ex contacts you: she misses you
Yes – it’s fairly attainable she misses you. Even with every part that precipitated the breakup, she nonetheless misses the nice occasions she shared with you.
Is this the case in your state of affairs? Here are the 2 greatest tell-tale indicators she misses you:
- She reaches out to your mates to ask about you; and
- Her buddies attain out to you to inspect you and move on her messages.
Bad information, although: These are each indicator of needy, stalker-ish conduct. So suppose twice earlier than getting again collectively together with her.
She’s confused about what she needs
It’s additionally attainable that she’s confused. She doesn’t know what she needs. Part of her needs to keep away from you, and yet one more a part of her misses you want heck.
How are you able to inform them if she’s confused? Here are a number of indicators:
- She’s very heating to you one second, and chilly as ice the subsequent.
- She tells you she’s “doing okay,” however her social media timeline is full of nostalgia memes and quotes.
- She nonetheless needs to sleep collectively.
Be extraordinarily cautious about that final signal exactly due to the fifth chance:
She’s pregnant and needs to pin it on you
If your ex-girlfriend nonetheless needs to sleep with you and be “friends with benefits,” that’s an enormous crimson flag. It’s fairly attainable she slept around with different males after your breakup and acquired pregnancy. And now, she needs to pin the being pregnant on you to save your cash.
That’s a giant attainable cause why your ex remains to be in contact with you.
The problem? There’s no manner of figuring out if that is her agenda. If you think she’s making an attempt to pin a being pregnant on you, then resist the urge to get again together with her. Never thoughts if she sends you nudes and such. Stay away for a minimum of a number of months and see what develops.
In the subsequent part, we’ll talk about the three greatest methods to react when your ex-girlfriend retains contacting you.
My Ex-Girlfriend Still Talks to Me: What to Do
Now you understand the explanation why your ex nonetheless contacts you. With that in thought, it’s time to determine what to do. It’s at all times sensible to err on the facet of warning after a breakup. After all, making a mistake now may imply a long time of issues and frustration forward of you.
Life is brief, so I counsel you to do one of many following three issues:
Gently flip her down
This one’s easily sufficient. Tell her: “I’m glad you’re doing fine, but I’d really appreciate it if you respected my need for space right now, just like we agreed.”
That’s it. Be transient and be agency. Then test how she reacts to it.
If she’s less than something, she’ll conform to your request with no thoughts on video games or parting photographs. She would possibly apologize and want you the very best, however, that’s it. If she doesn’t make a “mic drop” second on you, you’re within the clear.
If she insists on staying in contact, that’s a foul signal. At greatest, she’s needy and determined (that are horrible traits to have in a girlfriend). At worst, she’s as much as one thing, and the extra you talk together with her, the extra you fall into no matter entice she’s weaving.
The worst signal is if you gently flip her down, and she tries to guilt-trip you. That’s your surest indication she’s scheming. You’ve been warned, my good man.
Continue the no contact rule
You can’t go fallacious with the No Contact Rule. Simply don’t reply to her texts and don’t reply to her calls. If you might want to, block her quantity and social media profiles. Problem solved.
The No Contact Rule is an efficient “last resort” for troublesome relationships. Strangely sufficient, time does heal wounds considerably, together with emotional wounds. The No Contact Rule facilitates the therapeutic of strained relationships and the “moving on” part after a breakup.
Granted, the No Contact Rule is tough to observe in case you miss her too. If that’s how you are feeling proper now, then I counsel you to learn up on tips on how to cease desirous about your ex FAST. If you don’t cease lacking her, you’ll miss out on a lot extra out of life.
Find out what she’s as much as
Your third alternative is to see in case you can uncover her agenda. This means giving cautious, measured replies to her texts and calls. Your aim is to slowly uncover what she’s actually as much as.
This is your possibility in case you’d moderately not flip her down or ignore her. That mentioned it’s extraordinarily essential to do issues proper—one slip and you’re in a world of damage. Here’s some information on how to reply to your ex. It’s a considerable learn, so make sure you take notes.
What to Do If My Ex Keeps Texting Me
Now, you would possibly marvel: “My ex-girlfriend keeps texting me. Should I reply to her, ignore her, or block her?”
Despite figuring out all of the explanations why your ex contacts you, it’d nonetheless be fairly tempting to answer. After all, she’s simply texting you. Not a lot hurt in that, proper? Right?
It’s price mentioning that the principles change barely when she contacts you solely over textual content. Unlike calls, the place she should speak to you in actual time, texting provides her time to craft measured, calculated messages. If she’s planning one thing shady for you, texting is her favorite software.
So is she contacting you solely through textual content? Then right here’s what could be occurring and what it is best to do:
She’s discovered you are doing simply nice—and she hates it
If she’s simply texting you, it might imply she’s discovered you’re doing nicely without her. That damages her pleasure, and on intuition, she needs to break issues for you and make herself look innocent.
How can she obtain that? With rigorously crafted textual content messages, that’s how. With texting, she will plan her method meticulously.
My recommendation? Don’t thoughts her, even when she tries to bait you right into a battle.
She’s making an attempt to show you into an orbiter
What’s an “orbiter”? It’s a man who follows the lady he loves, even when she doesn’t reciprocate.
Even common “Plain Jane” ladies may have a number of orbiters in their life. The extra engaging a lady will get, the extra orbiters she’ll have, keen to do no matter what she asks.
They’re known as orbiters as a result they’re like planets in a photovoltaic system, orbiting the lady however by no means getting shut sufficient to her.
If she’s texting you, perhaps she’s making an attempt to show you into an orbiter. It’s the final word revenge, making you appear like it was you who made a mistake breaking apart together with her.
Let’s ensure that by no means occurs, lets?
What to do about it
Ultimately, you’ll want to grasp that your relationship ended for a superb cause. It’s usually higher to simply observe by way of together with your settlement to separate together with your ex-girlfriend and transfer on, even when it hurts for a very long time. After all, it won’t damage greater than in case you acquired again collectively together with her and ended up in a lot worse state of affairs than earlier than.
So weigh the professionals and cons. Once you determine what to do, the ideas in this article ought to aid you to get the very best end result—for her, too, however extra importantly for yourself.